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Mysterious language of science

Scientific Jargon by Dyrk Schingman at Oregon State University

After several years of studying and hard work, I have finally learned scientific jargon. The following list of phrases and their definitions will help you to understand that mysterious language of science and medicine.

  • "IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN..."
    • I didn't look up the original reference.
  • "A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT..."
    • These data are practically useless.
  • "WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS..."
    • An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
  • "THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY..."
    • The other results didn't make any sense.
  • "TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN..."
    • This is the prettiest graph.
  • "THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT..."
    • I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.
  • "THE MOST RELIABLE RESULTS ARE OBTAINED BY JONES..."
    • He was my graduate student; his grade depended on this.
  • "IN MY EXPERIENCE..."
    • Once.
  • "IN CASE AFTER CASE..."
    • Twice.
  • "IN A SERIES OF CASES..."
    • Thrice.
  • "IT IS BELIEVED THAT..."
    • I think.
  • "IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT..."
    • A couple of other guys think so too.
  • "CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE..."
    • Wrong.
  • "ACCORDING TO THE STATISTICAL ANALYSIS..."
    • Rumor has it.
  • "A STATISTICALLY ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS..."
    • A wild guess.
  • "A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA..."
    • Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.
  • "IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENA OCCURS..."
    • I don't understand it.
  • "AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES..."
    • They don't understand it either.
  • "THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOTZ FOR ASSISSTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND ANDREA SCHAEFFER FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS..."
    • Mr. Blotz did the experiment and Ms. Schaeffer explained to me what it meant.
  • "A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY..."
    • A totally useless topic selected by my committee.
  • "IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD..."
    • I quit.